Will Only Look Forward

Life has been a splendor for I have been but useful and productive. I have been working for about more than two weeks now as a server at Eddie's restaurant. Although we own the restaurant, we work hard to maintain its state- since we opened during a bad economy, there are more money to put out than to put in- we have to put out money for labor costs for the restaurant can not pay for itself. But there is a hope, that someday, this restaurant, this little eatery will be a cash cow, a decent money tree. I like it that I am around people more, that I am not isolated alone at home doing travail, useless things. I could, perhaps, develop a strong social skill through this- a sort of prep for my nursing career. (For I already have passed my NCLEX exam- got the letter from the mail last week). Everything is all good from here.

A lot of things has happened since my last blog. There was that big fight between me and Eddie which I do not seem to get over it at all, nor forgive him- until now, his shouting, that deafening, disheartening voice still taunts me; that I never kissed him for days, nor hug, nor showed him love since that rage happened at the restaurant. It was Friday night, we were closing, and Felix and Matt was there. How embarrassing the situation was! I wanted to disappear, yet I held, and managed to be strong. I am half made of steel some times.

There was that San Diego gay pride where my dear friend, Eric, came from San Francisco. We drank heavily that Saturday night- me, Eric and Eddie. We ended up going to three different locations for drinks- the Blue, where I could recall a rather handsome bartender, the Martini Bar, and Flicks. A fight happened again between me and Eddie that same night. He hit me back after hitting him numerous times. His blow was quite strong that it left my left arm aching for days. Me and Eric ran off from him. We hid behind a heat transformer we sobered up while stayed warm. I found myself vulnerable, and cried, and expressed things to Eric. Overall, I guess I could call it a drunken moment night. We then decided to call Eddie, who in the end was in good mood and was able to drive us back home safely.

The next day, Sunday, me and Eric ate at some Mexican restaurant across from the Park Manor. We met up later with Reyner and his boyfriend, Justin, at Mo's, where the couple both had two large keg beers, while Eric and I denied alcohol for it was mid afternoon. We had a decent talk, about half an hour, then me and Eric decide to finally go to the festival. It was $20 per person at the door, and I guess that was the reason why the festival was not insanely crowded as that of San Francisco's. We met up with Eddie at the beer garden, where we watched him perform for forty-five minutes his own songs, composed and written by him. And the crowd was friendly enough to applaud him dearly. After that, I was in the mood for shopping things. The festival did not offer wonderful goodies but in the end, I bought an artsy necklace and two bag of doggie cookies for my Troopy. We came across an art booth, and Eric liked this one painting that resembles a wicked nun in its very banal yet intriguing form. After few days, Eric, who was then in San Francisco, has texted me and has told me that that particular painting was sold out, and decided to buy a similar one instead.

Besides all that, (there might have been things I forgot to mention) my life has been doing well. I will only go forward.