Christmas Aftermath

Christmas is gone. My parents have left this morning. I am happy that I get to see them for the holidays even for a short while. I worry, though, that my mother has some serious disease; for she has been complaining about the left side of her head being numb, a precursor to additional symptoms and further ailments that occur thereafter, such as her body tingling, a formication of some sort; and then, she would begin to vomit, for then she would experience vertigo. All I could do is hope that she is okay. My father is still his old self, although he seems to do better with his shyness among people. It is the language that, after all, impedes him. Back in our country, he was nothing but an outgoing person, an individual with plenty of friends. He would have around him his drinking buddies, work buddies, relatives, and us- his own, close-knitted family. Families in the Philippines tend to stick together adamantly, that all the waves, the shakings of the vessel, the life, was but a series of a given and inevitable challenges that humans are apt to face, and can not turn their backs away from.

Ugh the noise in the living room infiltrates my mind so, it poisons it, disturbs it- how very perturbing! Ah...finally, it settles; only the coughs and silent murmurs I hear. Then I could write more.

So Christmas is gone today; it finished yesterday. But, I'm an atheist now (I have abandoned my Catholicism). I am better off this way without chains on my feet. I am, thus, free in this lifetime; void of the governing rules of religion. The bible being nothing but a mere fable, a means of exaggeration to uplift one's spirit. One needs to adhere to something in this life to keep it from derailing. Christmas- I play along with it; it is simply a reminder of supreme childhood jubilation, for everybody yearns, and love the essence of it.

But there is today, the aftermath of Christmas. I am atheist; and yes, something in me feels incomplete. It's the thought of Christmas, my childhood, who I once was....but there is today to live, to get through. I will work out, shower, then get ready to meet Tiara at Baja Betty's. It will be fun; we will all be inebriated. And tomorrow, a movie, then the review that comes with it. Then, next day, another course of living, of filling up time, hours after hours, of things that seem to me, worthy, good; anything that serves me well. In my life, I do not struggle. I am comfortably issued to live within my means. I am practical and realistic with my views. There will be these days to live before the New Year, there will be a week or two after that, and then, the serious change will begin. It will take place, it will take place.