Reminisce

Yesterday, Abby and I had dinner at PF Chang's in Fashion Valley. I had the VIP duck along with pickled cucumber and tacos while Abby had a rare tuna with wasabi noodles. Both dishes are excellent. Our server, an amicable blonde girl, had made a sauce perfectly mixed with Asian spice and mustard, and it was very addicting. Afterwards, we went to Horton Plaza downtown to see the movie UP, which put me to tears several times with its touchy storyline. We also bought the Pink Floyd movie, The Wall, and we saw it at my place that night.

I was very awkward being out in the public yesterday- a rather bad sign. I do not want to get caught up into that trap again where I get too overly conscious around people. I have been somewhat isolating myself from the public over the past few days, confining myself to my own studies, and doing dreamy things, personal things, etc--whatever things, mostly childish, I could find to distract my noisy mind.

Eddie and I haven't had quality time together in the past few days. He was busy managing his own restaurant, while I was busy playing video games, studying, etc. I need sunlight as well. I have been waking up half past noon for the past five days, and did little exercise, and been out seldomly. I have to do something before such routine will progress into nothingness. I want to be productive, not a burn-out stoner.

My test is scheduled on June 24, and for the upcoming two weeks or so, I will have a boring life. I do not have any source of income, except Eddie giving me some spare change (like $20) every now and then. I also asked money from my parents twice this month so far, $150 total. So long are the days when Eddie used to issue me weekly checks as my allowance while I was in nursing school. I never worked in my life- all the nice things I obtained, it all came from Eddie. And yet, it seems at most times, I show him lack of gratefulness. I would like to put out the trash for him, clean Lucy's litter box for him. I want to cook for him more, to love him more, to satisfy him- not disrespect or belittle him. I would like us to have a quality and worthwhile time.

Florian canceled today on our plans to go to House of Blues downtown for he has been sick with sinus infection. I would have loved to have gone and check it out- Club Lucky, a gay event, happens once a month, on the first week of each month at House of Blues.